Parenting: Lies to Toddlers?

I myself felt guilty these days for lying to my 2yr old toddler. I agree it depends on whether there was any reason behind lying on certain circumstances. I am also afraid of any consequence from such. There have been many instances where I had to do so for her to learn new things or help us help her in certain circumstances.

a. I often tell her that my cell phone needed to be charged when she wanted that phone. [underlying reason: I didn't want her to drop or break my phone]

b. Now-a-days she is more into become taller so that she can reach things at home. So we tell her to eat the right food so that she can become taller. So every time the topic comes up, she says, “I eat lentils so I can become taller” (wink)

 c.   We had a family guest few months ago. When they were about to leave, our toddler started crying that she wanted to go with them. We said, they didn’t have a car seat and they would bring it back the next time so that she can go with them. However, every time we take their name, she says, they are going to bring in a Car seat so that she could with them. (wink)

 d.  We had been to our friend’s place a week ago. She enjoyed playing with the kids there. It was about 11:15 at night and we headed out. She refused to join us and wanted to stay back at their place. It took about 15 – 20minutes to convince her and still didn’t work. Finally I said, they were going to follow us in their car and convinced her to sit in our car. We couldn’t expect them to follow us. (wink)

There are many such instances…Is it right thing to do so? I know, it is Parenting101 that I need to learn further to be a better parent to our toddler. I have known from back home, that the toddlers are fed showing them the Moon (ಚಂದಮಾಮ) – so in a process have the kid diverted to a different topic and feed him as appropriate.  We have several stories from the epics of similar instances from the days of SriKrishna and SriRama. So my interpretation was it was ok to divert the Kids with the right intentions in our mind and for Kids’ wellbeing.

 

I noticed a kannada[link]  poem on Navilagari blog recently. For Non-kannada speakers, to summarize this poem – it talks about how a Mom swallow her challenges and still keeps the child smile and be happy growing up. For the most, a Mom would not share sorrow with her children and children would never know those challenges at all.

 

So Parents, what is the best way to explain toddlers the way they understand and still grow up happy?

 

When I mention these to few people around, they would comment: “this stage shall pass and they will eventually understand. This phase is to enjoy these moments and that’s the all reason they are called Toddlers”. although it makes sense to me at times….

 

2008 Greetings

After Christmas Clearance Sale…

Is this familiar to you?

“After Christmas Clearance Sale”
“Door buster sale – additional 10% OFF”
“Saturday 4 hour sale: 9am to 1pm only – take extra 10% on already reduced 50% discount”
“3-day sale 40 – 60% OFF on selected items”
etc etc etc

 My wife and I got onto this topic while driving yesterday. We had stopped by Kohl’s, JCPenny, ThePicturePeople stores during the day. A question popped up, “why would they even have such sale where they give away their inventory for 60% off, buy one get one free, kind of deals. Is it not going to be a loss?” and many more questions like this all at once.  

My answer was “Volume”

Agreed, I haven’t studied Marketing major in my college, however, with an observation, it sounds very much true. These retail stores make up on Volume sale although the discount appears to be not on all the items or varieties in the store. Our observation has been, with Ads like these, tempts people to go visit. Once they visit at least about 80% of the people do BUY things. I don’t have the survey numbers, and I am sure, the retail merchants would have such numbers, however 80% those who buy would get into Impulsive Buying – and end up buying things they may not really need, but just because things are out for SALE you’ve got to buy them. So true, if one wanted to buy a fleece for 20$ he/she would end up with at least about 100$ charged on credit card when coming out of the store. The other day we noticed an individual charging about 450-500$ and she also said, she ended up charging a lot just because things were on SALE. These stores also have credit cards, and if you apply for a credit card, you would get an additional 10 to 15% off  for that day’s transaction. hmm…. how tempting! There are again both pros and cons to it. In a way a win-win situation between retailers and the consumers; and on the other hand, this can be lose-lose or win-lose too depending on the type of consumers who spend their hard earned money.

Agreed, even we have been to similar occasions and have bought some for us. As we analyzed, it was mostly for what we needed, and thankfully, we have learned to say No to ourselves and back off, if we do get into impulsive mode by any chance. The Simple Dollar provides many such pointers on managing money.

I recently read somewhere or heard from people around the term “Steal” –> it was interesting to know that a few percent less than the retail price in the store meant a great bargain and they ended up buying several. Agreed, at the end of the day, it is up to the consumers on what they like and what they like to buy.  This post was only about an observation for the traditional sales methods keeping some or the other reason like “after christmas” “pre/post thanksgiving”, “new year”, “year end sale”, “festive season sale” etc etc etc…

How about the Picture Studio – We had received an invitation saying a free sitting session with a free 10X13 print. We went there. There were about 12 – 15 snaps shot and they shortlisted about 6 good ones. We ended up buy 3 more prints. so Volume still worked – went there for a 10X13 print and ended up with more. [Note: the last ones we had taken with our baby was close to about 18months ago, so it was ok for me].  But for people who get these pictures taken evey month or every quarter, it is certainly a tempting expenditure.

On a similar grounds, Nita has a post about Advertising and marketing campaigns [link] taking several examples and situations.

<update>I often hear about SALE – “Oh! this item was on sale in so and so store“. I tend to think and have also asked the store keepers at times, “hmm.. does this mean it is on SALE now and usually available for FREE”  That’s my interpretation when I see those words like on-SALE.

Reinventing Project Management

I am not sure why I had added this book on hold for me at my local library. However, just received and reading through the book. I noticed a review about this book on David’s Agile Management blog. Perhaps, I had added this on hold after reading David’s blog.

I have just started reading this book, I will write my summary when I get a chance after reading this book.

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Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays…

Merry Christmas and a Happy Holidays to you all!!

Have safe holidays….

Under Promise, Over Deliver

Well, I posted couple of other items about my experience with ordering a Dell computer. What I am always impressed with DELL though, with several 1st hand experience with Dell in the past, has been Under Promise Over Deliver, for most of the time (although my previous posts did not mention that ).

1. The first time I bought from Dell was 6 years ago, I was told that the manufacturing and shipment would take X number of days and can be expected to be delivered in X+5 days. It was actually shippped within X-”n” + shipment delivery (UPS) days. I was very impressed back then.
2. Later I had few technical issues with Inspiron 8000 and I called up Dell technical support. I had a prompt support and got many issues resolved just over phone.
3. Later around 34th month (I had 36 months extended warranty) laptop’s casing started to break. Called up Dell, and they said it was under warranty for 2 more months, and they sent someone to have it fixed for free. Thats again impressive service I aplaud about.
4. I recently placed an order for Inspiron 1720 earlier this month. I was told that  the system would be shipped by around Dec 27 and plus the shipment about 3 to 5 business days and expected delivery around Jan 2nd. However, I received it on Dec 18th. I am very impressed with the delivery schedule again.

That’s a great customer service in terms of delivery and support. And, I am sure, a lot of people would grade much higher satisfactory rate on such a service.

Lets look at the related comparison with some of our projects (I am referring to IT projects for now, since I am from that background):
a. Project Management asks for invidual estimates from dev and test teams
b. individual teams provide their estimates for deliverables in terms of hours or days
c. dev team reaches the code complete milestone 2 weaks early
d. test team completes their task an additional week ahead of schedule
e. project is delivered almost a month early for a 6 month project

Now, IT (information technology) folks, what does this convey to the project management.
           i. Oh, we thought the complexity level was high, but we figured it was much less
          ii. Oh, we actually had added 40% buffer in our estimates, just in case we would get into any issues. (but this was not conveyed to the project management during the estimation process)
         iii. Oh, we screwed up on our estimate process – it is probably a lessons learned for next project.

However, What does project management draw from this (when they allocate the budget for the project) 
          A. Ok, agreed with your points #i and #iii,  lets make it better for next time
          B.  hmmm… it appears like project management need to scrutinize more and not trust the dev and test teams on their estimates for 40% buffer in the estimates.

What are the downsides of providing estimates with large buffer?
           In my experience on project estimations and getting the buy off from the business customers, depending on the funding situations, it is possible that business team might move away from your quote and look for some one who can deliver better product with reasonable price. So chances are either we get the business or lose it without further discussion into prioritizing, cut scope, etc.

What do you think from your experience on providing more buffer in the project estimates?

Dell: Hard disk partition option when ordered for new computers…

I had recently placed an order for an Inspiron 1720 with Dell. Back when I bought an Inspiron 8000 6 years ago, I was told they would not do the partition on new computers. So, I specifically enquired about the same this time, thinking if there was any change between then and now. The response I got was – No and they would still keep one single drive and no logical partitions. I literally wanted to have it partitioned when they build it so I need not to go over that rework once I receive it. Anyways, I just received it 3 days ago. Opened it up to configure it further. I noticed it was indeed partitioned with 30gig on a D: drive and the rest for C: (system drive) on a 250G m/c.

My question to Dell, why not give an option for at least one partition for the user and make it as appropriate. If they were going to make this partition for a smaller size, I would have requested for the size I wanted it to be. Now, I think I will need to start from the scratch for the size I want it to be and re-install all the programs it came with. Rep did mention about the package having CDs for all the programs they have the m/c installed with. so, I should be able to re-do it.  But it is a redundant task to scratch and re-do it.

On the other hand, DELL could rather ship a raw machine for users to install as they want it to be providing a bootable disc.

I am kind of unhappy about this re-inventing a wheel situation. Anyways, I will if I can find somebody who wants to build install operating systems from scratch

 

RSS on this blog

I just realized I don’t have the RSS link on this blog. I will put this up sometime this week end.

-Ram

Daddy, you are coming to Bengnooor!!!!!

My 2.5yr old daughter V… and I were driving from her school this evening. We are planning a visit to Bangalore shortly and we have been preparing her quite a bit on that for the air travel and the number of days we stay there, about our parents, other kids, and the things we can do over there, etc etc.

Here went the conversation : (I responded the way I did to V… to make some fun on the way home)

V… : Daddy, lets go bengnoor (this is how she pronounce Bangalore as; may be she is close to what it is supposed to be pronounced as “bengaLooru” )
me: (silence)
V… : I am going bengnoor with mommy!
me: (silence)
V…. : Daddy, I get rings from R… thaatha (she wants to get her ear rings from her grand father)
me: (silence)
V… : Mommy, you are coming bengnoor, right?
Mom: Yes, sweety.
V… : Daddy, you are coming bengnoor, right?
me:  this time, I said. noooooo
V… : Daddy, you are coming bengnoor
me: (silence)
V… : Daddy, YOU ARE COMMING BENGNOOR!!!!!

so looks like she has made a decision for me whether I want to go to visit Bangalore

Co-relate this a day-to-day real life, there is always a choice or a decision one can make. If one does not make for the self, somebody else will apparently does; and that choice/decision others make may be in your favor or may not be.  

Certain other instances:
a. I was watching Suze Orman’s financial planning video recently, She pointed out in the context of wills and trusts, “if you do not make a will, the state you live in already has made a choice for you – and thats intestate”. So state law has already pre-determined an alternate route for the residents.
b. at  a train stop or a bus stop, if we don’t make a decision whether to get off at that stop or the next or further, it moves on. so getting off at the next stop might be too far off to walk back to the destination. It has happened to me a couple of times when I lived in Singapore, and walked back to work or home not knowing the exact stop at the moment. It has worked out ok for me in that instance.

Product management webinars online …

There are several webinars both upcoming and an archive of past webinars available on Product management blog site here

 I was just going over a past presentation about productivity – getting more things done [flash presentation] — provides top 10 items that the presenter does in his daily experience. There are are many valuable presentations up available online.