RamsThoughts

June 20, 2012 11:28 pm

Sorry, Driver Saar!

Filed under: Attitude — ramsblog @ 11:28 pm

This evening, the Bus was about 3 minutes late to the bus stop. I checked right after I left from work biking my way to the bus stop and realized the bus was few minutes late. I had initially planned for the next bus, and knew was going to miss this current one. Still tried however, and I was on dot at the same second of the time that bus arriving towards the bus stop. Apparently, there was no one else at the bus stop, and he would obviously not stop. I waved approaching the bus stop. Bus being at a speedier side and being unable to stop, I missed this bus right before my eyes. However, the driver noticed and stopped a few yards farther. I ran to the spot, racked the bike and got in. Driver says : “It is not safe, I won’t stop this way next time. you need to be at the bus stop before the bus arrives“. I said, Sorry and sat in , catching my breathe in.

few stops later, as the bus approached the stop at and closer to another intersection, we saw an old lady being undecisive on whether or not to cross the street at that intersection. She finally came back and indicating driver to wait. He did and had that lady board the bus.

Driver saar, what is happening today?

2 stops later, bus was about to turn left and there is another stop right after turning left on that street, and it is a local highway too. There was another lady jay-walked ran through the lights before the bus turned. Obviously the bus made its way to the right most and stopped the bus to  have that lady board the bus. As she was walking in, Driver said “you shouldn’t be crossing the street likewise. It is dangerous, you put lives in jeopardy, and you may also be fined hundreds of  dollars too. Please plan on getting to bus stop sooner

moments later, I could see his frustration, but couldn’t really show out. Well, that’s the art most people often taught or learned here, that not to hurt others with words and be nice to people.

I liked the way he handled these situations, with calm but authoritative tone.

 

Well anyway, Driver saaaar, again, Sorry. Hope your rest of the drive on that route has been ok :)

 

February 15, 2010 1:42 am

You do know one song daddy!

It is often great to learn that we learn from toddlers. We had been to a local community celebration – Kannada sangha’s sanranti gathering – this afternoon. One of our neighbors sang a couple of songs. I had one of those songs several times before in my childhood and also later years. We were driving and starting humming that song. Being sheepish for yet not knowing the lyrics, I said – to my wife on passenger seat, “although I seem to know several songs – one or two liners – I wish I had known complete lyrics of at least one song. I need to learn the lyrics so i can hum a complete song.”

Now, from the back – on a child seat – our daughter chimed in – i thought she had fallen asleep, but looks like she was still alert thought about to fall asleep. we couldn’t here at the front and asked her to repeat – says: you know one song completely daddy – mudaakaraatha modakam [youtube video]. Well, we had both learned this song together a few months ago.

My wife chimed in – “look: she wants to encourage and uplift you to the best of her knowledge”

Certainly, it is interesting. When I thought about how and what most adults would have responded when I said, i didn’t know a single song completely, it would probably have been (a ) accept what i said (b) console in a different way (c ) some words that might make me feel much sorry about myself :)

On the other hand she didn’t want me to feel sorry for not knowing other songs, and rather uplift or encourage for knowing one so keep up learning others – not a big deal.

It is the matter of Attitude and how others centric that we get to in helping others grow.

To an extent it also follows (in terms of awareness and learn) what I just learned on Alan Page’s blog – about 5 orders of Ignorance – in the context of software development  – Links here – article about 5OI ; 5 orders of Ignorance

January 20, 2010 12:37 am

I don’t like your <fill in>

Filed under: Attitude,Children,Learn/Teach,Q&A — ramsblog @ 12:37 am

It is interesting to know that 4 or 5 year olds are being taught on “how to handle rejections”, “how to handle ridicules”, “how to handle talks” etc… Although it is amazing what kids “Pre-School” pick up during the conversations. I have heard them fighting or making negative comments. What i thought was it was just natural for kids to fight one moment and the same kids being best of the best friends the next moment. It happens with siblings too.

This week, I have noticed a different approach my daughter has learned. She is practicing it in a way, and wants us to tell her that we don’t like her clothes. I was surprised. My wife checked with school teacher about it and realized, the kids are being trained on how to handle such comments. That’s nice.

V: Dad, tell me that my dress is not good; tell me that you don’t like my dress; tell me you don’t like my hair band, etc….
me: why?
V: tell me any of these.. ok, what if I say, I don’t like your shirt?
me: hmm… why? what happened?
[if this was not the context, I don’t know how I would have responded (or reacted) to this question, depending on my mind set at that point of time. How about you?] and I ended up saying “No worries”

Now, it was my turn to rehearse this with her.
me: V- I don’t like your hair band, I don’t talk to you.
V: [with all the same energy and great attitude, with a big smile on her face, says] that’s ok, never mind you don’t have to talk to me for now. We will get better. thank you.
me: [I was like .. speechless for a moment, and then realized, hmm.. this might get into either defensive (ego?) or fade away into another direction, but said] ok

And i think I had this conversation continued for another minute or so and then diverted the conversation. But it is great to know that kids are trained on such little aspects. Keeping the right attitude, taking things professionally and turning heated comments into humors, is certainly a talent one must possess, and cool thing is “it can be learned”. It helps not only in school days, but in other phases for the rest of the life.

Listened to Pranesh on youtube yesterday – http ://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e1HTQAr_XE – kannada comedy show. He has shared several instances where a serious situation could be turned into humorous one by keeping the awareness, a great attitude and being optimistic in life. 

hope she keeps that great attitude going forward and handle life graciously…

July 7, 2009 8:44 pm

Is it true – helping others is better than self analysis….

Filed under: Attitude,Personal Development,Project Management — ramsblog @ 8:44 pm

I hve noticed in several instances that some individuals are great in their Creativity while working with other individuals compared to brainstorming for themselves. Some are great coaching compared to doing things for themselves. I remember i had shared a similar thought once before.

so is this true creativity goes exponentially with pair programming or XP, and the quality and productivity increases as opposed to having the individuals left for themselves, specially while troubleshooting issues. Be it a software application or planning for a project.

what do you think?

if so, what are the ways one can learn to leverage his/her own brain for troubleshooting in a better way? I don’t think it is the experience, if that was the case, they would not be able to contribute high while helping / coaching others.

July 6, 2009 5:02 pm

A bike finally arrived home…

Filed under: Attitude,Children,Vehicles/Toys — ramsblog @ 5:02 pm

image

It has been a project to buy a bicycle for our little one. Looks like we have postponed it several times for one or the other reason. She was so excited when it finally came to her hand at the store yesterday.

She has been saving her own money to buy this toy. The funds labeled “Cycle Fund” has been in collection for over a year or closely two, i think. Early on, we thought of introducing the concept of money to her, and introduced a little box named cycle fund, ever since she learned bits about money and has observed a lot at the grocery stores when we buy things there. The first thing she does after we step out of the pay counter at any stores, is to request for the bill/slip and count the number of items. She tries to read the numbers there, although she doesn’t know about decimal, but reads the numbers. These days, she appeared to have an understanding of lower and higher number i.e., 100 is greater than 10; 60s are greater than 40s etc. I am not sure if it is money conscious or the quantity, but often, she also comments, “why are buying so many things?” looking at the number of items in our shopping cart.

Back to her “cycle fund”, we started with a “dime-a-day” and started giving her a dime on a daily basis. There were days we had missed out, and made it up by giving 2 quarters in a way (yes though 20cents less there), but that kind of gave her an awareness of “not all coins look alike” – and there are other denominations associated to each coin type.

Anyways, the cycle fund trend has been discontinued for several months now, and I think we need to start again.

One of the reasons we pushed it out so far to buy one could be the winter months and didn’t pay attention until the spring / summer time. We went to several stores and she liked some of them, but we were actually looking for a relatively best fit size, hand brakes options, etc… Anyways, she tried one of these 16-inch bicycles and appeared very comfortable with. We went again 2 days ago, and picked one. She wasn’t although happy that it was going to be another 24 hours to actually pick it up upon having it assembling it at the store itself. We went back the following day, it was about ready, and she was eagerly waiting at the counter to see her brand new bike. There arrives, and before I see it, there she goes – jumped over the bike, and off to the exit door.

We went out for swimming this morning leaving her bike at home, and it was disappeared from the spot it was placed when we arrived back. For a split of a minute, her face turned red, eyes full of tears, lips just about to crack open to a loud cry for not seeing the bike at the spot. I then realized, my wife might have taken it inside to perform pooja (as we often do on a new vehicles/items), and indicated the little one to check inside waiting for a pooja. She was somewhat convinced (‘coz she has heard about this concept often) and went inside. Her face blossomed with a big wide smile and still tears-filled eyes and jumped over the bicycle.

It is interesting how emotional the kids get if they don’t see their favorite item even for a second. She tried it around our house later, and seemed to enjoy being a bike-owner.

July 1, 2009 6:32 pm

Nothing… Art of Pre-Kindergarten kids responding to their parents

Filed under: Attitude,Children — ramsblog @ 6:32 pm
Tags:

I don’t know if it a natural form of response that kids normally provide, or at times also think if it is for anyone. I have heard a coworker saying that her 5yr old son would not share anything on way back home from school and parents would have to ask several questions to even know his daily activities.

At times we have had the same experience with our 4 year old daughter. Once we pick her up from the school, here is how our conversations go:

V: daddy, how come so soon, i still haven’t had a chance to play with shakthi, or so and so
I: hmmm.. ok… looks like you have enjoyed a lot at school today
V: < no response>
I: what all did you do today?
V: nothing
I: did you eat your lunch? <i would check her lunch bag now>
V: yes although her lunch box is still half full),  (however, the days she would have eaten all, she would volunteer herself and with all the excitement, says – ‘Daddy – naanivaththu ellaa khaali maadbitte” (i have finished all my food today)
I: Great, what else did you do today?
V: nothing (or the standard answer would be I played, I painted, not really specifics)
I: did you play? did you have a circle time? did you share your stories? songs?
V: no, nothing
she would then open up all her daily stories rest of the evening

When I had a conversation with one of her teachers some time ago, she suggested me to not talk about school activities right away, at times kids of their own ego and not really open up at that point. Better to diver their mind from school and talk about something else instead. And then bring the school topics in a better way so kids would open up. Kids certainly want to share all their excitement, mischieves with parents, but we need to give them an opportunity without questioning. And Questioning would take them to defensive mode.

I think I have realized that off late, for tasks that I request her or tell her or ask her to do, when she is just about to do that task anyway, she responds “I know that, I was going to do just that” – well, I think i can relate to it. I normally don’t like to be told, if I am already aware of it and just about to get that task done or get started with.

for this summer, we have enrolled her in a different school for Pre-Kindergarten, and they have a pretty neat way of igniting conversations with the kids of school – CarTalk – this is a cool little note related to the tasks they would have performed through out the day. CarTalk note is just a cool little hint for parents to strike up a conversation and discuss about things on the way home. Like wise, we not only engage them in conversation, at the same time kids tend to volunteer with their daily activities. It was worked ok so far for me when we walk from her school to our house.

About summarizing all at once as soon as they picked up – I realized, how often at the end of the day, that I remember all the tasks I performed during the day at work. hmm… not really, unless i had kept a note of every activity. However, if I just spend some time recalling, i would certainly remember all those over a perid of few minutes or hours. Well, then how can we parents except little ones to summarize as soon as they meet us after the school – hmm… makes sense ! :)

<update>
just a few days ago, I came home after a presentation/class about HAM radio, and started browsing through some material. My wife and V came to me, and the conv goes..
L: How was the class?
I: good
L: what did you do at the class?
I: nothing
L: was there something ineresting?
I: nothing

this is when I myself realized, if I learned these answers from V or if a. this is a natural human tendency to answer as nothing on a first go
b. a tendency to answer this way when you are not in mood to answer the questions.
c. or, some individuals just choose to take their own time and not discuss much soon after they get home; and share all the excitement or the learnings / activities a little later when not asked… people tend to be not questioned but willing to share if not being asked and the topic comes up.

I think I need to observe this factor with few other people to understand the behavior , hehe :)

June 6, 2009 5:58 am

Where is my wrist band? I don’t know but I will look for it…

Filed under: Attitude,Children,Learn/Teach — ramsblog @ 5:58 am
Tags: ,

My 4yr old girl wore a wrist band that I had given her. One morning imageshe was playing with this and with few of her other toys. Later that afternoon, while we were out to one of the stores, she borrowed the one I had on my wrist. Later on in the evening, few hours after we were back home, we both went on a walk around the community. I remembered about the band, and I asked her for the band and the conversation goes:

me: “Sweety, where is my wrist band?”
V: are you asking about the one with purple, green color?
me: yes, the one you had taken from me this afternoon
V: remember that is with a bunch of my other toys put on a ring
me: which one?
V: the one you helped me this morning with.
me: well, that was your band that I had given you yesterday. but how about the one you had taken from me at the store this afternoon?
V: this afternoon?
me: yes, at the store, near the counter when we were about to pay for other things.
V: I don’t know
me: sure? try to recall.
V: I don’t know
me: (not satisfied with her answer), sweety, you had taken it from me, and I think you need to remember to return it.
V: but I don’t know where I have kept it, but I will look for it.
me: (with somewhat, guilt feeling in my mind, at at the same time, satisfied with her answer, although she said she didn’t know, but she was also willing to look for it), sure, I like your answer that you are willing to look for it. thank you
V: thank you, I don’t know where I kept it, but I will look for it. does it sound ok appa? (dad?)
me: sure buddy, thank you
(now, the conversation shifted and she started humming a kannada song for which she had danced several months ago, and we reached home a several minutes later)

After we were back, we were still playing around and then I came over to the Kitchen to take my tablets. She got disappeared for a few minutes. She came back to me and handed over a wrist band. I heartily took it and thanked her for that band. I didn’t question anything further and we both got into other games or conversations. Later, she and her mom did a nail coloring sessions for few minutes, and we both read a Kannada book (Aesop fables) and she slept. I came upstairs later that night to go to bed, and noticed her bunch of toys where I had tied her wrist band together with. Now, I am flattered, that she sacrificed her band for losing my band, I felt so guilty, went back to the car and noticed it was there on the floor carpet by her seat.

There are several things that we indeed learn from children. looks like, children are great teachers than our own experiences most of the time, especially with respect to attitude.

May 23, 2009 5:53 am

Get to the Synergy of being first …

Filed under: Attitude,Children,leadership,Personal — ramsblog @ 5:53 am
Tags: ,

My 4yr old has learned about being First. So, now comes the conversation around this at home for pretty much every task we all get to right from the time we all wake up. And now a days she wants to wake up at 7am (or 7’ish). She would get upset if it is before or after. Well, in a way, her biological clock has been working that way for a past week now. she is mostly up either early 7am or around 7:45am. And here comes the challenge of here needing to sleep early, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t sleep until around 10pm or beyond, and that’s when she realized she would not be able to wake up around 7’ish if she sleeps late (well, that’s probably programmed by us, by saying she wouldn’t be able to wake up 7’ish if she doesn’t sleep early),

V: (not slept yet although feeling sleepy) what’s the time now?
Me: 10:40pm, 11:10pm (whatever it is at that time but certainly beyond 10)
V: now, she thinks about next morning – and with full of tears, “i wanted to sleep first to wake up at 7, now i would not be able to wake up at 7am” cries continues…
Mommy: consoling her – “it is ok, just sleep now and you can still wake up at 7am” .. and more consoling goes …
v- finally sleeps with having 7am in her mind …

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Being First: She wakes up around 7’ish, if she notice both parents are awake, then comes comes another problem. Scenario when I‘m still on bed and both mommy and daughter wake up around the same time. Now, V- wants to brush first than anyone else, V- wants to drink milk first. so all these starts through out the day, and several conversations happen around this context.

Well, what I have noticed in past few days is the SYNERGY that she is on to. She wants to be first, and at the same time she doesn’t want her parents to be last either, (thats probably because I started resonating her words of being first), so now it goes,

V: I‘m first
me: I wanted to be first this time
V: Thats ok, ‘m First-First, mommy is second-first, and you are last-first
me: what? (I go blank with wide eyes and mouth open, and trying to comprehend what she just said)
V: hahahaaahhaaaa !!

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May 19, 2009 8:46 pm

Did We Miss It?

Filed under: Attitude,Software Quality,Tech — ramsblog @ 8:46 pm

… There is always this notion in software/application development, that if a defect found in a phase after the previous phase, people in current phase are always looked as if something bad has really happened already, in a way, even before the complete analysis, we tend to take a decision as, “Did we miss it?” and several follow up questions pop up;

“Did we miss it?”
“Why did we miss this scenario? “
” How did we miss this scenario?”

and pretty much all “Wh” questions are posed and pointing the finger at you, essentially.

if there was something missed out in Functional document and defect passed down to Design/Coding phase, then it was missed by an analyst capturing the required information. Similarly, if a defect was found in User Acceptance or during the application deployment, then a test team has missed it – so they are the victims.

I think it is the question of Attitude and their Thought Process? Why would they always think that way? Why not look at the problem first and see WHAT can be done in that situation and then further analyze if the scenario or the defect was really missed or if it was due to something else? I think we need to grow up and stop blaming or pointing figures. We need to learn to be Pro-Active, we need to really Respond to the situation in hand rather React to it. 

April 21, 2009 9:13 pm

Easier to Say than Done…

Filed under: Attitude,Personal Development,Process Improvement — ramsblog @ 9:13 pm

…. a lot of times, we come across people who often talk and start giving advice. Well, it also depends on the recipients and their attitude on how well they take it. but at times, the recipients might hear them but not necessarily listen although they pretend to be.

Here is the situation:
     You have a challenge that you are working on. Apparently you come across someone, not necessarily have an experience around that, but the moment you share about your issue, he/she starts asking several questions and gives the numbers as though you feel it works. Sure, on a bird’s view things are always easy. Apparently the challenge is, not all people who starts telling you things would perform the same when it comes to a situation to themselves.

How would you react or respond in the situations when you come across such people? Would you pretend to be listening? would you gracefully defy it and justify your stand on how the problem should be solved? what else?

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