January 20, 2010 12:37 am

I don’t like your <fill in>

Filed under: Attitude,Children,Learn/Teach,Q&A — ramsblog @ 12:37 am

It is interesting to know that 4 or 5 year olds are being taught on “how to handle rejections”, “how to handle ridicules”, “how to handle talks” etc… Although it is amazing what kids “Pre-School” pick up during the conversations. I have heard them fighting or making negative comments. What i thought was it was just natural for kids to fight one moment and the same kids being best of the best friends the next moment. It happens with siblings too.

This week, I have noticed a different approach my daughter has learned. She is practicing it in a way, and wants us to tell her that we don’t like her clothes. I was surprised. My wife checked with school teacher about it and realized, the kids are being trained on how to handle such comments. That’s nice.

V: Dad, tell me that my dress is not good; tell me that you don’t like my dress; tell me you don’t like my hair band, etc….
me: why?
V: tell me any of these.. ok, what if I say, I don’t like your shirt?
me: hmm… why? what happened?
[if this was not the context, I don’t know how I would have responded (or reacted) to this question, depending on my mind set at that point of time. How about you?] and I ended up saying “No worries”

Now, it was my turn to rehearse this with her.
me: V- I don’t like your hair band, I don’t talk to you.
V: [with all the same energy and great attitude, with a big smile on her face, says] that’s ok, never mind you don’t have to talk to me for now. We will get better. thank you.
me: [I was like .. speechless for a moment, and then realized, hmm.. this might get into either defensive (ego?) or fade away into another direction, but said] ok

And i think I had this conversation continued for another minute or so and then diverted the conversation. But it is great to know that kids are trained on such little aspects. Keeping the right attitude, taking things professionally and turning heated comments into humors, is certainly a talent one must possess, and cool thing is “it can be learned”. It helps not only in school days, but in other phases for the rest of the life.

Listened to Pranesh on youtube yesterday – http ://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e1HTQAr_XE – kannada comedy show. He has shared several instances where a serious situation could be turned into humorous one by keeping the awareness, a great attitude and being optimistic in life. 

hope she keeps that great attitude going forward and handle life graciously…


  1. I’m not sure if such training can be helpful. Maybe it is, I wouldn’t know for sure.

    I’d thought that growing up should mean they learn by trial and error, learning from experience and tutoring combined, rather than by tutoring alone.

    Why ‘grow up’ before it’s time to? 🙂

    Comment by Anil — January 29, 2010 9:09 pm @ 9:09 pm | Reply

  2. Thank you @Anil. In a way it is good to keep kids aware of things that actually go on in life, so having them prepared may be a good thing for similar instances. Coming across confrontations without expecting them may give another experience to deal with, at the same time, it may cause grief for not being aware of how to handle situations.

    and then I agree with you, experience is a great teacher, but we don’t have to experience all when we can also learn from others’ experience.

    thank you,

    Comment by Ram — February 9, 2010 7:56 am @ 7:56 am | Reply

  3. @Anil,
    you have a very nice blog… on a cursory look at one page, i liked the information about robot – iit mumbai tecfest

    Comment by Ram — February 9, 2010 7:59 am @ 7:59 am | Reply

  4. I get your reasoning. Maybe you’re right.

    Glad to know you liked the blog. I try and record India narratives.

    The IIT Techfest was fun. It’s always a great feeling to experience the childlike enthusiasm at such fests, the idealism is worth travelling a long distance to see and experience.

    Comment by Anil — March 5, 2010 9:53 pm @ 9:53 pm | Reply

  5. Anil, i went back to your blog today, and liked the premier padmini steering post 🙂 – interesting to see different steering wheels fixed into those cars 🙂

    Comment by Ram — April 18, 2010 12:48 am @ 12:48 am | Reply

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